For humans, lust is blind. Contrary to popular belief, psychopaths aren’t always dodgy-looking serial killers with slanted eyes. And because lust is blind they walk among us, charmingly undetected.
Gone are the days of meeting a nice boy or girl at church. These days people meet under the most interesting circumstances leaving a wide gap for psychos to pass under the radar unnoticed, far longer than they should.
In a world where it’s the norm rather than the exception to meet a partner on a dating app, or strike up a conversation with your gym crush, it’s more important than ever to ‘verify a potential partner's sanity’.
It’s one thing to chat with an unknown person online when they have time to rethink every word they are saying, plus you are unable to read their facial expressions and body language, not to mention being blinded by your gym crush’s biceps or your classmates' wonderfully endowed breasts.
Because lust is blind you need to take a step back and reevaluate the personality you are interacting with.
It’s one thing to hang out with someone for an hour or two every other day as it is very easy to hide ‘toxic qualities’ and therefore for them to only put their best foot forward during such a short span of time.
It is a whole other ball game when you start spending more frequent, longer periods of time with someone. This is when the ‘cracks’ start showing in the plaster and you get a sense of what you are really dealing with.
Lust is blind so, we tend to ignore our instincts about, "What is a psychopath?"
According to a Manhattan therapist, Kelly Scott, people use the word ‘psychopath’ colloquially to describe a person whose behavior defies social norms and conventional understanding of right and wrong.
She explains that the word ‘psychopath’ doesn’t mean anything from a clinical perspective. Speaking to Insider, the therapist said the closest diagnosis that reflects the stereotypical representation of psychopaths in popular culture is antisocial personality disorder (ASPD).
Mayo Clinic describes ASPD as a mental disorder that causes people not to have any regard for right or wrong, empathy, or the well-being of other people.
People with ASPD are incredibly charismatic and good at faking empathy, which is why they often make unhealthy or toxic partners in a relationship. Women with this poisonous trait have been dubbed Black Widow Woman (BWW). Think of the venomous spider.
Because lust is blind people ignore signs that they may be dating a psychopath:
1. They are harmful to others without remorse
Mayo Clinic lists one of the primary symptoms of ASPD as lacking a sense of morality and having no problem harming people financially, emotionally and even physically if it means they get something out of it.
2. They don’t seem to have many, if any friends of their own
According to a Psychology Today article, people with ASPD have problems sustaining healthy, satisfying relationships, which is why they tend to seek positions where they can work over, rather than beside colleagues.
They also don’t get along well with others because of their self-focus.
3. Psychopaths only do things for personal gain
Someone with this disorder acts solely for personal gain, which usually means exploiting the people around them. This behavior can manifest in lying, stealing and other harmful practices channeled against their partner.
When dating we must always be observant and careful.