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Black Widow: Theory

Never trust Black Widow women. Chapter fifty-seven of my naughty memoir, Lessons Inside the Lifestyle, tells the story of just one Black Widow woman. The two posts prior to this detail other Black Widow stories, both considerably toned down from the real terror a Black Widow can represent, invoke, and unleash.

Some of the questions not addressed in my memoir are tackled here. What makes a woman into a Black Widow? Is her upbringing responsible? Does love or the lack of love have anything to do with her BW status? Did past hurts or traumas shape her now malevolent psyche? What can one expect from a BW going forward? In other words, how malicious and vicious can she get? Answers to these and many other questions about a BW are always tentative and best-guesses.

The character in my memoir, Fran Kennedy (nee Buckley), had an upper middle class privileged upbringing. By the time puberty rolled around she knew she would marry a professional. That was imbued as a function of her family ethos. She also knew that she wanted to rebel against the tight guardrails that had constrained and directed her upbringing. Furthermore, she felt that although her concerned parents would help her, they were very old school and ultra-conservative.

Everything had to be done the right way according to the Buckley family’s Catholic morality. Her mother Myra outwardly and rigidly obeyed her husband, Fran’s father, Joe.  All family members complied and cowered, to the extent that pre-marital sex and birth control were demonized and unwritten rules of conduct were rigorously enforced. Having met the family on just a few occasions I certainly didn’t know all of their rules. But several encounters tell much. As an example, without question, the eldest girl, Fran, was forced by UNSPOKEN family pressure and tradition to get married first. So you get the idea.

Patti, Fran’s younger sister, was prettier, more talented, and as a bonus, svelte with an alluring figure; Patti attracted the boys like flies. So when Patti brought home a suitor, John Kennedy, a potential husband, the entire family, directed of course by Joe, worked to sabotage Patti’s exciting fresh romance and to turn John away from Patti, morphing him into Fran’s boyfriend. Naturally, the family’s focused plan succeeded admirably.

Fran snorkeling

After their wedding, when John had completed law school and was articling at a prominent Toronto law firm: that is when I met Fran. Even though I had been told how viciously Fran had dispatched John’s fleeting paramour at the law firm, I couldn’t deny my attraction to his baby blue eyes and tall firm build. Very quickly after our first social meeting my vagina was dripping and vibrating in turmoil; I had to have a piece of that man. (Bob would say my “vagenda” kicked in.) Lust blinded me and I forgot; never trust Black Widow women. So, I dove in.

My sexual adventure is not the point. As long as we all served her purposes Fran sanctioned and even encouraged the occasional very naughty session between John and I. Fran had bigger fish to fry, at least temporarily. Her overriding imperative was to create a home and a family, having the three requisite babies she knew would guarantee her family acceptance. Once that hidden mission was accomplished I was both the target and the excess baggage. Bob and I were forced to flee and fast. [Enter: Bob and Shirley Clark. He was the registrar at the University of Western Ontario, and Shirley … well … her kink was having an erect strange dick in her mouth while her infant suckled from her breast.]

And, Patti got even. Barely able to play the piano, she soon became a cocktail lounge solo act, playing piano and singing, so that she could entice many highly unsuitable men into her bedroom. Her final kick at the Buckley’s was two-pronged: marrying a man she barely knew just to get pregnant, immediately offloading him after giving birth; then (purposefully) adding over 100 pounds to her small frame, thus doing her best: to make herself unattractive, and to embarrass and humiliate her family. 

In the end I’m not sure (No one can ever be sure.) about Fran’s motive: whether she wanted to sex me, smear me, or stab me. Maybe all three. Full well knowing that I wasn’t into girls in the least, Fran maneuvered John into asking me to join them in a menage, a three-way. That is the point. A Black Widow always operates under the radar with a concealed multifaceted agenda. Her acolytes, defenders, and enablers never know her true motive, not even (in this particular case) long after John and Fran divorced.

Take a step back and consider the Black Widows discussed in the two previous posts. What are the common denominators revealed by the Black Widows in these vignettes? All are: grifters, con-artists, and narcissists. A large percentage are sociopaths.

Overt overdone friendliness, selfishness disguised as care, a passion to control people and situations, a hidden always flexible “vagenda” (an agenda centered on her vagina), and an inexorable need to win, to prevail, regardless of the pain, carnage or collateral damage their Black Widow behavior causes: that credo sums up every Black Widow woman. Never trust black widow women.

Next Post: Black Widow: Marjorie Taylor-Greene

FACTOID: A favored expression during World War II servicemen boasting of sexual conquest originated from the real-life sexual exploits of actor, Errol Flynn. After a successful sexual encounter a G.I. would invariably remark, "In like Flynn."

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