Sexual Words of Wisdom
Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
-- Francois Du de la Rouchefoucauld
If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to?
-- Bette Midler
Let early education be a sort of amusement; you will then be able to find out the natural bent.
License my roving hands, and let them go before, behind, between, above, below.
-- John Donne, To His Mistress Going to Bed
I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out.
-- Dolly Parton
In married life, three is company and two is none.
-- Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest
By now you will have discovered that women, too, can be militant.
-- Sophocles, Electra
Polygamy may well be held in dread, not only as a sin but as a bore.
-- Lord Byron, Don Juan
Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact.
-- Ambrose Bierce
-- Frank Dane
Men who cherish for women the highest respect are seldom popular with them.
I kissed my first woman and I smoked my first cigarette on the same day. I have never had time for tobacco since.
I married beneath me - All women do.
-- Nancy Astor, speech in 1952
In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy.
Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.
-- Mae West
Concubinage has been corrupted by marriage.
The best mannered people make the most absurd lovers.
-- Denis Diderot
What one beholds of a woman is the least part of her.
-- Ovid, Love’s Care
Where there’s marriage without love there will be love without marriage.
-- Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard’s Almanac
It’s a mistake to speak of a bad choice in love, since, as soon as a choice exists, it can only be bad.
Gossip is what no one claims to like, but everybody enjoys.
Love built on beauty, soon as beauty, dies.
-- John Donne
When love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece.
-- John Ruskin
Men are what their mother’s make them.
It’s not the men in my life that counts, it’s the life in my men.
-- Mae West
Woman is woman’s natural ally.
-- Euripides, Alope
Men should not care too much for good looks, neglect is becoming.
-- Ovid, Ars Amatoria
Rascals are always sociable.
Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows.
If to her share some female errors fall, look on her face and you’ll forget ‘em all.
-- Alexander Pope, The Rape of the Lock
The big difference between sex for money and sex for love is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
Adultery is the application of democracy to love.
-- H.L. Mencken
It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness.
-- Leo Tolstoy, The Kreutzer Sonata
The strongest surest way to the soul is through the flesh.
-- Mabel Dodge, Lorenzo in Taos
You can’t expect a boy to be depraved until he has been to a good school.
-- Saki, A Baker’s Dozen
We spend our time searching for security and hate it when we get it.
-- John Steinbeck, America and Americans
Luck is a matter of preparation meeting opportunity.
A laugh at sex is a laugh at destiny.
-- Thornton Wilder, The Journals of Thornton Wilder
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t.
-- Erica Jong
The female of the species is more deadly than the male.
-- Rudyard Kipling, The Female of the Species
A man who has not passed through the inferno of his passions has never overcome them.
-- Carl Jung, Memories, Dreams, Reflections
Were kisses all the joys in bed, one woman would another wed.
-- William Shakespeare
A woman is like a teabag - you don’t know her strength until she’s in hot water.
-- Nancy Reagan
People will insist on treating the mons veneris as though it were Mount Everest.
-- Aldous Huxley, Eyeless in Gaza
Sex is not taxed - but it can be taxing.
It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.