Strap-On Story
My strap-on story. My husband and I have been married for more than 25 years and have had what I consider a great marriage overall. Couple of kids, a couple of cats, a house, etc. Nothing out of the ordinary. And that (nothing out of the ordinary) largely describes our sex life too. It’s been kind and loving, but not particularly kinky, or even outside of oral and vaginal sex.
My husband also is not particularly well-endowed. He’s not unusually small either, but of the few sex partners I’ve had over my life, he’s on the smaller end. There’s really only a few positions that “work” for us. And just so it’s clear, that doesn’t bother me at all. But it certainly bothers him—to the point where he bought a large strap-on dildo that’s hollow on one end so that he could wear it. It was a little surprising to me when he told me about it and then showed it to me. And it was BIG, so I was also not sure that was going to be something I would like either. But I agreed to try it. And the first time in particular, I did not like it. Even with lube (which made it pretty cold, too), it was pretty painful to the point of having to ask him to stop. That pretty much stopped that whole session too.
A little while later, he asked to try again, and said he’d read up on how to use it better. So we tried again, and it still hurt, but he went really slowly, and I have to admit it wasn’t as bad. Fast forward a few more times, each of which was better, and one of the times most recently, it was really good to the point where I actually had a pretty big orgasm from just penetration. That was the first time that had ever happened to me. Now he always asks me if I want to use it. He’s gotten much better and loves “having a big cock,” and it feels really good. He genuinely seems to like that I enjoy it. It has allowed us to try some different positions.
So here’s my concern. I’m a little worried that I’m actually enjoying it TOO much. I haven’t been the one yet to ask for it, and I truly don’t always want it. But whenever he brings it up now, I have been saying “no” less and less frequently, and I secretly get more excited about the strap-on coming out. And when I’m done coming and he gets his turn, I’m finding that I’m a little desensitized to his penis. It definitely seems temporary, because it’s always back to “normal” the subsequent times we have sex, but right after he’s used it, I get less of a sensation of him in me. I’m not normally an addictive personality, but I’m a little worried about wanting this more and more. Should I try and stop using it? It doesn’t seem to bother my husband. Is it OK if I want to have it be a regular thing?
(Reprinted from Slate’s sex advice column.)
Tell us what advice you would give to this woman?
