Not being able to orgasm, or finding it difficult, is something many women relate to. Women take longer to get off and quite frankly, some people just don’t know what to do to get them there. But the newest buzzphrase in women’s orgasms is something that can help us all: sexual edging. But what is sexual edging? And, can you learn how to edge yourself?
Don’t worry if you’re not aware of what sexual edging is. It’s an age-old technique that’s been gaining popularity in the bedroom – and for good reason.
Women are able to orgasm much easier and they’re far more intense. Guys can learn how to edge too, so nobody misses out on the orgasmic fun!
What is sexual edging exactly?
Sexual edging is orgasm control. It is also called peaking or surfing. With those terminologies on the table, one can see that it is about manipulating one’s orgasm to the point of unbridled ecstasy.
Sexual edging is done by stimulating yourself to the point right before orgasm and maintaining that state of arousal using different methods.
When you’ve practiced sexual edging enough times, you can thoroughly experience the benefits of edging which, simply said, is one huge orgasmic climax.
Mind you, this is not your regular orgasm that hits you like a train and then leaves you with your head hanging off the bed and your tongue lolling out. Nope. The huge orgasm that edging allows is one that gives you uncontrollable whole-body spasms.
So, edging yourself means that either you or your partner prolong ejaculation and orgasm. It essentially brings you to the edge, the tipping point of ejaculation. Then, you stop immediately, having that feeling subside until it’s just under the surface.
Once you’ve calmed sufficiently, you start again. You can repeat as many times as you want – until you can’t take the waiting anymore! By the end, your orgasm will be far more intense because of the build-up of tension.
Edging has been shown to deepen your internal connection. Because you’ll be able to hold off your orgasm, you’ll be able to gain control over it, thus, prolonging the sexual experience.
In addition, edging helps you focus your attention on the experience rather than the end goal, which is usually ejaculation/orgasm.
Sexual edging can help you time your orgasm with your partner’s
The chances of two partners climaxing at the same time are pretty slim. Sure, it happens, although mostly in films.
But, if you learn how to edge yourself, you can make sure that you time your climax just right. And, of course, you make the whole thing last much longer too. Bonus!
The sexual edging technique empowers and thrills because it allows you to pass that sexual norm that many seem to be stuck on. Plus, it makes masturbating much more exciting. If you’re into challenges and competing with yourself, this is a great way to get maximum pleasure while testing and growing your mental strength.
But to do this, you should know the ins and outs of edging. So, well, that’s why we’re here. C’mon, live life on the edge.
Learn how to edge yourself first, alone
Sexual edging isn’t just a solo act, you can also do it with your partner. However, we think it’s better if you try it out on your own first.
There’s nothing wrong with having your partner try edging on you. However, if you don’t try this on your own, you’re not allowing yourself that time to focus on your body and mind. You really need that time for yourself to understand your body.
The more time you spend edging yourself, the better the control. And this is true for both genders. Women can experience powerful orgasms just by delaying gratification. And men, they can learn to last way, way longer in bed by learning to control the point when they’re about to ejaculate.
You don’t have to practice edging eight times a day in order to become good at it. If you masturbate daily, try edging three times a week. You’ll notice a difference in control over your orgasm and the heightened sexual feelings that go along with it.
Understand the point of no return
There is a tipping point and if you want to learn how to edge, you have to know where it is. You need to test yourself to see where the point of no return is for you. Consider it trial and error, but it’s pretty fun finding out!
The point of no return is when you’re just about to cum. Everyone is different, some take longer than others, so to find this point, you need some alone time.
Get your hand down your pants and learn to read your body’s reactions.
You might be wondering what that point feels like. How can you differentiate between the point where you’re about to tip over the edge, to when it’s just building? In a general sense, many people experience these sensations when they’re at the point of no return:
1. Breathing becomes fast and shallow
2. The body tenses
3. You need more stimulation
4. You feel an intense need to cum
5. All your attention is focused on your genitals
That’s when you know you hit the point of no return and edging is just a little too late! You need to learn when you’re just about to hit that point and then stop. Hands off! Back away! Try to control your breathing, and wait a while, and then slowly start again.
To stop yourself from orgasming and learn how to edge yourself better, you need to get your pelvic floor muscles involved.
To do this, squeeze your PC muscle tightly. Pretend you have to stop yourself from peeing. By practicing this exercise, you’ll be able to build the physical strength to prevent yourself from orgasming.
Men and women can and should learn how to edge
Usually, when people talk about edging, they discuss men. However, women are able to do this as well. The reason why it’s popular amongst men is that it helps them become harder and also helps prevent any premature ejaculation.
But, women love edging as well, and it’s also how many women masturbate.
It’s pretty useful for couples when the man tends to climax before the woman. Then, the guy can learn how to edge himself and give his partner time to catch up. It's a win-win for everyone in that scenario. However, you can both do it together and wait for a totally explosive climax for both of you.
Basically, edging is an option for all genders, at any time.
How long should you edge for?
This question really has no answer. Everyone is different. Maybe you can only last for a couple of minutes while another person can hit the ten-minute mark with no problem.
Some people like to edge once or twice and then ejaculate while others like the challenge. What we’re trying to say is that it actually doesn’t matter, just do it for however long you like *or however long you can hold on*.
Don’t just go right into trying to edge. You need to warm your body up, touch yourself as you usually would when masturbating. Make sure you’re wet and then, slowly build up the tension and pleasure. This isn’t any different than how you usually pleasure yourself.
Of course, it’s going to be hard in the beginning. Maybe you’ll only be able to last a couple of minutes—even that is an achievement.
But, the longer you prolong yourself from orgasming, the better. Don’t try to hit the twenty-minute mark on your first go, but eventually, you’ll want to be able to withstand from orgasming for as long as possible.
How can a male perform edging on your female partner?
There are a variety of methods you can use to perform edging, but the easiest would be with the use of the clitoris. A G-spot orgasm is just stimulation of the inner parts of the clitoris through the vaginal wall, so the external part would be a better marker to get you started.
You can perform edging using conventional stimulating methods like rubbing and licking, but you have to know when to moderate your movements. That comes from your partner communicating with you and your ability to listen to her reactions and read them properly.
If your partner tells you she’s about to cum when you’re having sex, you need to slow down and stop thrusting her while staying inside her. If she’s under you, lift yourself up and pause, giving her time to regulate her breathing. Once she feels the waves of pleasure subsiding, you can get back to thrusting again and build up to another orgasm.
Stimulating her too much can lead to a quick orgasm, while stimulating her too little would end up pushing her to an early refractory period without the orgasm *the refractory period is when you have to build yourself up to an orgasm again*.
But no worries, as we’re going to give you some useful tips on how to edge your partner, and how to edge yourself, shortly.
What does the eventual edging orgasm feel like?
Strong! You’ve brought yourself to the edge and managed to control yourself several times. All of that tension is building and building.
At some point, there has to be a release and it’s going to be a sweet one! The longer you can learn how to edge yourself for, the more intense the orgasm is likely to be. But, remember that everyone is different.
Your friend might tell you about edging and having orgasms that make their toes curl. You might try it a few times and find it’s great, but not mind-blowing. What you need to do is stick with it and keep building your control.
The more you practice, the more you’ll earn from it!
How to edge, with or without a partner
If you want to know the secret to edging and how you can have explosive orgasms that leave you weak in the knees, following these tips will help get you there. Just remember that it may take some time and lots of practice before you get the method down perfectly.
As we’ve mentioned, edging is not limited to a few strokes on your nether regions. There are a variety of methods you can use to experience edging, with or without a partner.
Here are some of the most commonly used and also some new ones for the more experimental individuals.
1. For sexual edging set the mood
You can’t expect edging to work unless you’re in the mood for it. And that means you have to set the mood. Light some candles, turn on some sexy music, and get intimate.
If you really want to make it a fun night, eat some aphrodisiacs and use some stimulating lube. Have fun with it and enjoy some adult beverages while you’re at it. It might help take the edge off.
2. Remember to foreplay like crazy
Foreplay is always important but it’s especially vital with edging. Basically, the entire point of edging is to get you to almost reach orgasm and eventually orgasm strongly.
Without foreplay, it’s highly unlikely that you’ll even be able to get to climax once. That means you’ll need to take your time and make the foreplay worthwhile.
Tell your partner what you want and need and make sure your needs are met.
3. Focus on the clitoris
This is your run-of-the-mill clitoris-only stimulation. What you do is masturbate or ask your partner to touch you until you feel like you’re about to burst.
Once you’re at that point, slow down and continue to rub the clitoris with less pressure. Be careful, because this is a delicate state.
Any excessive movement will cause you to orgasm prematurely, but not enough could end up killing the sensation. With practice, you’ll get the blend right.
Note that you cannot continue to stimulate it using one speed. You have to increase it again to the point before orgasm and then turn it down a notch again. Do this over and over until it’s impossible to control anymore.
Once you’re ready, go to town and rub that one out until your eyes roll back in your head. By that point, the edging you’ve done will have been enough to elicit an orgasm that’s more powerful than the ones that you’re used to.
4. Lube is your friend
Assuming you didn’t need to use lube using the first method, doing so now will be much more pleasurable because of the slick and smooth feeling it gives.
It helps stimulate the clitoris faster, which is a good thing for women who need a bit more time to get into the mood.
5. For sexual edging try using a vibrator
The tricky part about using a vibrator is that the sensations you feel will be significantly more intense than they would have been using your hands or your partner’s hands.
A good tip, when using a vibrator for edging, would be to use a low setting or a vibrator that doesn’t gyrate or have only one setting. Then, you can experiment and turn the intensity down when you feel yourself approaching climax.
6. Dry humping
This method is quite useful for more adventurous individuals. An over-the-pants edging session might take longer, but those who prefer doing it in locations where there is a greater risk of getting caught might be able to climax faster, if necessary.
The best place to try this would be in your car. Nothing illegal about scratching down there, right? But just to be sure, check with your lawyer!
7. Talk about sexual edging before you attempt to have sex
The easiest way to do this with someone else, i.e., a penis in the vagina, would be to communicate your status honestly and clearly. Faking is not an option, if you want to make the most out of edging.
Before doing this with your partner, talk about how you’re going to do it and what you’re expecting. This is helpful in finding out how you and your partner can perform edging together because it’s different for every person.
The methods may be the same, but the speed of stimulation, the location, and the technique will inevitably vary.
Once you’re at the point before climax, tell your partner. Tell them how you’re feeling and whether or not it’s working. If it’s not, you can always try again. That’s more than half the fun anyway.
8. During oral sex
Again, the best way to perform this would be to instruct your partner and guide them along the way. To make yourself feel less like a drill sergeant barking orders, try to infuse some dirty talk into the process.
It might make things a little hotter, especially if you’re the type who responds to sound, so try not to sound too enthusiastic when you’re not yet ready to climax.
9. Communicate throughout
You need to be able to talk to each other openly about your need to edge but you also need to make sure that you communicate throughout.
Don’t be afraid to tell your partner how you’re feeling, whether you need more, and what it is that you need. And partners need to be open to hearing constructive feedback and act accordingly.
10. When sexual edging be vocal about when you’re close
If your partner doesn’t know when you’re about to orgasm, they can’t pull away in time to make edging effective. You have to tell them when you’re close and when they need to stop.
Hopefully, your partner will be able to tell over time when they should stop, but that might take a while. If you find it too difficult to talk and concentrate when you’re that close to orgasming, make a sign of sorts.
11. Make the build-ups to sexual edging slow
Don’t stop stimulation just to go right back into it again. The way edging works requires the build-up to be slower. Once you almost orgasm once, you have to stop and then slowly work your way back up.
If you go too quickly, you’ll just end up reaching orgasm before your partner is able to stop. Plus, the majority of the fun is working your way back up to climax.
12. Don’t attempt sexual edging too many times at once
You can’t just go through an endless cycle of edging. That’s not how it works. When you overstimulate yourself, you’ll actually end up making it MUCH harder for you to reach climax.
Your body kind of adjusts to the stimulation. Way too much at one time will make you last longer and that’s NOT what you want with edging. Only allow yourself to get to the edge of orgasm a few times before finishing.
13. For proper sexual edging make sure you’re relaxed
This is essential for the orgasm itself and also for the entire process of edging. It’s going to take a while. If you’re tense, you’ll have a harder time with the entire thing. So find ways to relax and let loose. You’ll be thankful you’re so relaxed.
14. For sexual edging experiment with toys
If you want to turn it up a notch, throw some toys into the mix! Sometimes using different toys each time you’re brought to the edge of orgasm can add that extra something you needed to get off.
Experiment with different types of toys, too. Use some vibrators *remember what we said earlier about having different settings* and then also try using some dildos with penetrative action. These can also help your partner last longer since edging is quite a lengthy process.
15. Set aside a lot of time to practice sexual edging
Learning how to edge is not easy, especially if you’re not used to delaying sexual gratification. You’d think getting yourself to the edge of orgasming and just stopping would be easy, but it’s not. You have to work at it and you have to figure out what works best for you.
But when you do learn how to do edging correctly, your sex life will never be the same. You’ll have stronger and longer orgasms that are unparalleled. And once you master the art of edging, you wouldn’t want to have sex any other way!
Now that you know what is edging and how to edge yourself, it’s time we left you alone so you can test out what we told you. Have fun!